How do you find what you need, when you don't know what you're looking for?!

Isn't it funny how one day you can't stop smiling, enjoying every second of the day, realising that its the small things in life that matters and happiness is all in the power of the mind.....
And then the next day you feel all uneasy and you question everything in your life, all decisions, all choices, everything that exists in your life right now. You start looking at the past and thinking 'what if?!'
I had one of those days yesterday....

I couldn't stop crying.....thinking about the past, did I do the right thing?! Thinking about the present, am I happy?! Thinking about the future, where am I going?!
I guess it was just one of those days and sometimes you can't help having them, but does all this analysing really help. Do you really need to think so much about life and your choices or is life just there to be lived?!
Why am I questioning my decisions and analysing the past when everything happens for a reason?! Perhaps that reason is for me to learn from this past, we don't want history to repeat itself, or do we?! Is there some things that left your life that you wished didn't?! We have to trust that they needed to leave your life to make space for something new and exciting.
So sometimes looking at the past can help, as you can see a pattern forming. "I learnt from that relationship exactly what I don't want" "I realise that that job turned me into a person I don't want to be" "Those friends were not good for me and made me make bad choices" Learn from it and move on.
Is anything in your life ever "too perfect" that you begin to question it?! Will it last?!? Sometimes its so perfect you start to create the drama, why are we never satisfied?! We assume things are too good to be true, we obsess so much about losing this perfection that often we do. We have something so good, that we are frightened to lose, so frightened that we induldge in the concept of loss so much, that we lose it eventually. Rather than appreciating what we have when we have it!!!!! Then we live in regret.

Our cynicism can destroy our lives. If you constantly think negatively about everything in your life, everything will become negative. If you think 'love doesn't exist' it never will for you!!!!! Just like, people who believe in ghosts see them and people who don't never do. If you believe you will achieve. If you deceive you will retrieve.
As long as we keep learning from the past and our mistakes (even though these mistakes may be essential) then we can't dwell on the past and think 'what if' as the past has paved your way.
I often wonder if I suffer from 'chronic dissatisfaction' whatever I achieve, whatever I get will I ever be  truly satisfied, are we meant to be content?! Or is this just an onward journey that just keeps going and keeps growing?!
Sorry this blog is a little confused, I guess I am still a little confused myself, I am having all sorts of crazy thoughts and crazy risks I am thinking of taking, but could this pave a lifetime of regret?! Oh, my analytical mood isn't helping me, I guess I need to take my own advice 'Stop thinking about life and just live it'